The Thing, A Sci-Fi Lullaby

“The Thing, A Sci-fi Lullaby” by Kent Gutschke

For Henry Kuttner, Charles T. Webb, and my dog, Rusty


As the funny-shaped thing zips into view—

Zigging now zagging past Bill’s Greasy Spoon,

Earl roosts on his porch with his old, brown dog,

Sipping corn liquor, his brain in a fog.


Earl and his dog watch with nary a scare,

As the silvery thing – spinning in air,

Smashes his windmill and falters in flight,

Quietly flutters then softly alights.


Earl bolts from his perch a-howling with glee,

“Off yer butt, Rusty! Le’s grab a look-see!”

A crashed U-F-O—Earl reckons on fun,

Grabs his corn liquor and loaded shotgun.


But the funny-shaped thing murmurs and drones,

Sending a chill to the core of their bones,

When out of the ship, an alien whines,

“On your knees, Earthlings! The world is now mine!”


Then a mess of eyes and pulsating arms,

Plops out of the ship and storms through the corn.

Earl comically eyes this bigheaded “thang”,

And pities the star from which it has sprang.


“Fools!” it shrieks, ”My keen teeth you’ll not defy!

You and your mongrel make ready to die!”

A-hootin’ Earl says, “Ya hain’t foolin’ me!

Those teeth are fer cud, not chewin’ on meat!”


The bug-eyed varmint now whimpers and whines:

“Are you telling me this world isn’t mine?”

Earl ponders its trip ‘cross space and through time,

Then offers the drip a drop of moonshine.


The creep takes a slug; its mind starts to spin;

Wily Earl leans in then boasts with a grin,

“We’ve government men that circle this globe;

They’ll stick yer rear to the end of probe!”


The bug-eyed critter spits, shivers, and chokes:

“A prick from a probe? That isn’t a joke!”

So dropping the jug, it stomps through the corn,

Then Shinnies the ship by rubbery arms.


So the silvery ship takes to the sky,

Silently soaring except for a sigh,

Leaving Earl musing with wisdom homespun—

“Likker kicks harder than loaded shotguns.”


©2017 Kent Gutschke. All rights reserved.

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